Come Little Children
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Hello and thanks for stopping by and visiting with me and the bunnies. It is so nice to have D. Melhoff here. Readers I hope you enjoy this interview as much as I did. Oh, hold on Mr. Melhoff, every time someone new stops by the dogs and bunnies go crazy.
1. What types of books do you write?
Mainly thrillers and horror. Nothing with too much blood and guts, but nothing you’d want your six-year-old reading either. My newest release is a paranormal thriller called Come Little Children, which is why we’re here, I suppose.
2. Do you buy a book by the cover?
Absolutely, and anyone who claims that they don’t is lying. Side note: If you haven’t seen the Ted Talk delivered by Chip Kidd, one of the industry’s most eccentric cover designers, you should watch it after reading through the rest of this wonderful interview.
3. Do you have a book trailer?
I do, and I’m rather proud of it! Take a look and let me know what you think: www.youtube.com/watch?v=nM0QAA607yo
4. Creepy! And wonderfully cinematic. What are your thoughts on book trailers?
Let’s face it: most book trailers suck. In general, publishers don’t spend a lot of money doing them unless they’re for a large, well-established series, and even then most video work is outsourced to production studios that overcharge for generic stock templates that look like crap.
I insisted that the trailer for Come Little Children feel as close to a movie trailer as possible, and I think we achieved that. Next to the cover of the book itself, trailers are the most important branding tool a book can have these days.
5. Is there a particular movie that you preferred over the book version?
Which movie did I prefer over the book version? That sounds ludicrous, but let me think….
I probably prefer the Lord of the Rings movies over the books (which is more of a pat on the back to Peter Jackson than a jab at Tolkien), and I quite like The Lion, the Witch, and The Wardrobe movie thanks to Tilda Swinton’s delicious performance. Silence of the Lambs is a close call since the movie is so faithful to the book, but on the other hand, the movie did have that incredible switcheroo scene at the end where Buffalo Bill opens the door and it’s Clarice instead of the FBI team, which probably gives it the edge.
Oh, and Devil Wears Prada. Don’t judge.
6. There’s a tree that plays an important part in your book, do you have a green thumb for plants?
Odd question… but no. No green thumb whatsoever. In fact, my nickname could be King Shiteas, because everything I touch (specifically plants) turns to shite.
7. There’s also a touch of romance. What was your first date like?
I can’t recall my first date, so I guess it wasn’t very memorable. I’m sort of like Bluebeard; the girls from my own town never wanted to date me, and when they did, they didn’t last very long. Now no one knows what ever became of them.
… Just kidding.
… Or am I?
8. How about your first job?
My first job was at a small town movie theater. I started as a concession worker before scaling the ranks to box office employee and finally peaking with the ultimate promotion to projectionist. That was actually really fun. I could watch movies all night and spy at people through the little projection window at the back of the theater like The Phantom of the Cinema.
I’ve often dreamed of retiring at that old movie theater some day and returning to my quiet small town lifestyle. There’s an office and some bedrooms upstairs, so I could write during the day and play movies at night. What more could anyone want?
9. Do you collect anything? Trinkets? Books? Gadgets?
I used to collect Pez dispensers. In fact, I once purchased a “no feet” One Eyed Monster for $.10 in a garage sale and turned around and sold it for $100 at auction. Best investment I ever made! I also have my fair share of action figures and superhero paraphernalia piled away.
10. If you could have any superpower what would you choose?
Wow, you don’t know how prepared I am for this question. I’d choose telekinesis that would be strong enough to lift myself in the air with almost no effort. That way I could move things with my mind AND have the ability to fly—it’s like two superpowers in one. Checkmate.
11. So getting back to writing, what’s your favorite part of a book?
A strong opening. Definitely. In fact, one of my nerdiest secrets is that I have the openings from some of my favorite books memorized word for word.
12. Tell me about your novel. How did you come up with the whole mortician thing?
Morticians fascinate me. I’ve known a few of them personally, and they’re interesting characters (anyone who spends more time with the dead than the living is bound to be, no?). Then I had this other idea about a conspiracy theory surrounding the Garden of Eden, and I thought: “Hell, let’s put these things together and see where it goes.” That’s how Come Little Children came to be.
13. Do you ever write in your PJs?
I write in a three-piece suit with my great grandfather’s monocle perched perfectly in my right eye-socket. Every day. No exceptions.
14. If you were writing a book about your life, what would the title be?
It’s a toss-up between “Extremely Quiet and Incredibly Distant” or “Chicken Soup for the Tortured Soul”.
15. Where can readers find you?
For all the social mumbo-jumbo, please visit the following links:
Thank you so much for taking time to chat with me today D. Melhoff. It’s been a pleasure having you and I wish you much success in the future.
The Nolan morgue is more than just an ordinary funeral home. When their newest employee uncovers a supernatural conspiracy connected to a string of child murders, she must use every shred of her intelligence to stop a new breed of serial killer and escape the morgue alive.
As Camilla Carleton rattled along in the back of the hearse, the first lines of an old song popped into her head: Oh never laugh as the hearse goes by, for you may be the next to die.
The rhyme brought back a sharp memory from almost a year ago. She was sitting in a pub called The Konnerkauhn on St. Patrick’s Day, chanting the song with a totally straight face, while Vickie—her lab partner—and Vickie’s roommate, Jasmine, leaned across the table and called out the most ridiculous garbage
they could think of: “Mister Rogers in a thong!” “Two ostriches making love!” “Shampooing your uncle’s chest hair!”
She tried blocking the hecklers—“Sneezing pandas!” “Hitler milking a cow!”—but her breathing changed and a forbidden smirk brimmed on the edge of her lips. Finally everyone burst into laughter and screamed, “Drink! Drink!” while she downed the rest of her beer and watched them cackle through the bottom
of her heavy mug.
Leave it to two Funeral Services majors and a Dark Ages nerd tomake a drinking game out of “The Hearse Song,” she thought. Of all folk tunes.
D. Melhoff was born in a prairie ghost town located an inch above the Canadian-American border. He credits King, Poe, Hitchcock, Harris, Raimi, and his second grade school teacher, Mrs. Lake, for turning him to horror.