#Review: 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great by Terri L. Orbuch @DrTerriLoveDr
I noticed this book at a reduced price on a newsletter from BookBub. Well I had to check it out. I admit upfront that I am divorcing my husband. But it will be explained why in the review.
When starting the book there are some praises from unknown people. That is fine. It is similar in all non-fiction books. I quickly jumped over these and directly started with chapter one. I wanted to read this book to see if I could find out if it was possible to save a marriage.
Directly on the first and second page (on my Kindle do not know about actual print) this book talks about expectations in marriages. Even goes too far as to state expectations and frustrations are the main reason for failed marriages. Quoted directly from the book <<Contrary to popular belief, the biggest reason marriages fail is not conflict, lack of communication, or sexual incompatibility. It’s frustration. The first step to achieving a truly great marriage is to defuse the frustration that is eating away at the love and happiness in your relationship. Frustration creates tension that builds and eventually explodes. Enough of these explosions and you’ve got a broken marriage. Where does this frustration come from? Unrealistic expectations! By having realistic expectations of love, men, women, and relationships in general, and then realistic personal expectations between you and your spouse specifically, you can dramatically improve your marriage.>>
Really?!? It was frustration and not my husband being a drunk that caused a bad marriage. It wasn’t him being more concerned with the bottle and whatever he could pop/shoot/snort than caused the marriage to fail. It wasn’t that when he was drunk or high he because someone I did not know. Someone that had rather rape or beat me half to death than show an ounce of compassion to me.
The really funny part is in the description this author states a successful marriage does NOT take hard work. In the one marriage I have experienced it would not matter either way.
This book seems to be based only on couples this author worked with. Not a large and diverse selection of couples. The information in the book seems old and outdated. This book was originally published in 2009 but could easily been published in 1979.
The sad part about therapist and authors writing something as serious as marriage is that this is their opinion. This is NOT fact. The author does not know and is basing their opinion on what they have observed. 90% of people who write a book like this has never experienced such devastating heartache from a spouse. They have never experienced or lived with someone who drinks 2 minutes after waking up and is still drinking when they pass out hours later. They have never experienced the hurt from having a spouse beat them, rape them, and/or attempt to kill them.
No matter what communication is a very important part of marriage? When reading this book take the information with a grain of salt. This is just the authors opinion and does not amount to a hill of beans.
Disclosure: This book was borrowed as digital from my public library.
No the bunnies and I do not recommend this book. Well the bunnies recommend the print book as something great to chew on.
The bunnies and I give this book carrot.
NEWS FLASH! Keeping a marriage successful does NOT take hard work!
All it takes is making small changes over time. When the foundation of a good marriage starts to show wear, zero in on those imperfections immediately, right? Wrong. Focus on what’s going well! Enhance the good things by adding new elements that will boost commitment, passion, and fun, and you will strengthen and build upon what you already have. It’s also ok to go to bed mad! You’ll find out why in this fresh, intelligent, and upbeat book.
Dr. Terri Orbuch shows how keeping a marriage healthy is, in fact, not something you have to work at. She explains how simply playing, laughing, and being a good listener will have immediate benefits, and how using her Ten-Minute Rule may be the most important action you will ever take to keeping your marriage exceptional.
She debunks common marriage myths and then provides checklists, easy-to-use tips, quizzes, and take-aways on topics such as understanding a couple’s compatibility factors, fighting fair, ways to say “I love You,” relationship ruts, and reigniting the flame between you and your spouse. And you’ll find out why you shouldn’t engaging in kitchen sinking!
5 Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great is based on the findings of an groundbreaking study directed by Dr. Orbuch, and funded by the National Institutes of Health. The study, of the same 373 married couples, was begun in 1986 and continues today. Dr. Orbuch, is a renowned therapist and nationally recognized relationship expert known as The Love Doctor®.